Avoid the Spirit of Contentiousness
Proverbs repeatedly warns about constant quarrelling.
Proverbs 17:1 says:
“Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife.”
Proverbs 21:9 similarly says:
“It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”
And Proverbs 27:15 compares a continually contentious woman to:
“a continual dropping in a very rainy day.”
These passages emphasize the destructive nature of persistent conflict.
Constant criticism, insults, shouting, sarcasm and hostility can gradually damage intimacy and trust.
Therefore, Christian women should examine not only what they are saying but also how they are saying it.
A legitimate concern can be communicated in a destructive manner, likewise a difficult truth can be spoken with grace.
Think Before You Speak
One practical way to overcome a hot temper is to develop the habit of pausing before responding.
Before speaking, ask:
- Is what I am about to say true?
- Is it necessary?
- Am I saying it in love?
- Am I trying to solve the problem or punish the person?
- Will these words bring peace or provoke unnecessary anger?
- Would I be comfortable hearing the same words directed toward me?
Ephesians 4:29 teaches:
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying.”
Our speech should build rather than destroy.
This does not mean every conversation must be pleasant or that difficult subjects should be avoided. It means that even difficult conversations should be approached with wisdom and self-control.
When You Are Angry, Learn to Be Silent for a Moment
There are times when silence can prevent unnecessary damage.
Proverbs 10:19 says:
“In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.”
When anger rises, it may be better to take a moment before answering.
Pray, Breathe, Walk away briefly if necessary. Gather your thoughts, then return to the conversation when you can speak rationally.
This is especially important because words spoken in anger cannot always be taken back.
A marriage should not become a competition to determine who can deliver the most painful response.
SEEK THE FRUITS OF THE SPIRIT, THROUGH PRAYING WHEN YOU ARE LACKING ANY OF THEM
Galatians 5:22-23 KJV
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, [23] Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
