What does sacrificial love means in light of Scripture?
Ephesians 5:21-23 KJV – .
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
In the light of scriptures, the wife represents the Church, while the husband represents Christ.
The truth is, love is not just a feeling.
Feelings are only the tip of the iceberg; love is a decision.
This is why people who build their relationships primarily around feelings often face serious challenges when those feelings begin to change.
Love goes beyond the butterflies, excitement, and emotional connection.
There comes a stage in love and marriage where your decision to love must remain steadfast, even when the storms come.
That is the beauty of love, the decision to remain committed even when you don’t necessarily feel the same way you did at the beginning.
While reading Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages, I was particularly struck by how couples who once felt deeply in love could eventually become divorced.
It is a reminder that feelings alone cannot sustain a marriage. It is baseless actually, we can attest the fact that; feeling based decisions comes with consequences.
This is why we must prepare intentionally.
Let’s read the Bible.
Let’s read books by proven authors.
Let’s learn from people who have built and sustained godly marriages.
Let’s develop the character required to love, serve, forgive, communicate, and remain committed.
Recently, my spiritual father, Rev. Dr. Kwadwo Bempah, who has been married for more than two decades, published five books. I have been greatly edified by one of them, Foundations and Preparations Towards Marriage.
However, I’ll do my best to read the remaining four books as well.
Marriage requires more than feelings; it requires intentional preparation, wisdom, character, and understanding.
BUILD A STRONG FOUNDATION.
- Build with divine character.
- Build with the Word of God – Joshua 1:8
- Build with wisdom.
- Build with prayer.
- Build with quality, godly books and counsel.
Because when the storms of marriage come, the question will not only be, “Do I still feel the way I used to feel?”
The deeper question is, “What have I built, and what have I decided?”
Biblical sacrificial love is choosing the good, growth, peace, and spiritual wellbeing of your spouse above selfish desires.
It is not merely saying, “I love you,” but being willing to lay down your preferences, pride, comfort, and even your right to retaliate for the sake of love.
The clearest model is Christ:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” — Ephesians 5:25
The key phrase in this Scripture is: “He gave Himself up.”
To be given the mandate to lead like Christ in marriage is not simply an opportunity to “fly your freak” or have things your own way. It is a call to self-sacrifice.
Just as Christ gave Himself up for the Church, a husband is called to lay down certain desires, habits, preferences, and selfish tendencies for the good of his wife and the marriage.
Christ-like leadership is not about dominance; it is about sacrifice, responsibility, love, and selflessness.
Marriage calls you to die to certain parts of yourself, so greater love, unity, peace, and purpose can thrive.
Christ’s death for the Church shows that sacrificial love involves self-denial, humility, forgiveness, patience, service, protection, and a willingness to suffer rather than cause harm.
Let’s talk about some of the contrary traits and tendencies men must die to in order to lead their marriages in the same way Christ leads the Church.
Christ-like leadership begins with dying to self.
What must a man “die to,” just as Christ died for the Church?
1. Die to ego and self-centeredness
A husband must die to the attitude of “me first,” “my way,” and “I must have the final say.”
Christ did not cling to His position for His own advantage.
He humbled Himself and gave Himself for others.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” — Philippians 2:3
“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” — Philippians 2:4
Sacrificial love asks, “What does love require of me?” rather than only, “What do I want?”
2. Die to pride
Pride makes it difficult to apologize, listen, admit wrong, or accept wise counsel.
A husband who loves sacrificially must be willing to say, “I was wrong. Forgive me.”
“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” — James 4:6
“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” — Proverbs 16:18
Christlike leadership is not domination. It is humility expressed through love and service.
Written by Lady Phebe Kekeli Dewodo, Convener,
WOMAN EXTRAORDINAIRE COMMUNITY,
QUEENS ANTIDOTE CONFERENCE
